it is one of those days when she feels like she is an ugly duck in a pond full of swans, where she cannot stop staring at others' beauty and start to ignore hers. it is one of those days when others seem to have everything she can imagine in each of her utopias, in which people are pretty and perfectly polished. somehow she forgets everything about lessons of having self-respect her mother had always taught her. somehow negativity comes invading, infecting like a virus. the world shakes and gets dark and she starts to trip over things that fall. somehow nobody can help her get out of it, whilst she knows exactly that herself is the only one who can. but somehow she refuses. she lets her fear take over. just because it is what is comfortable. just because she is too afraid to look through.