Sunday, October 26, 2008

There's always more. To anything. To everything.

Have you ever felt like you don't get the chance to grow, to expand, to explore yourself because you are placed in the wrong environment? It's like you are cookie dough that is stored in a plastic container. No chance to get baked. No way for you to rise into a yummy melt-y cookie, ever, at all.

It's not like that the way I'm feeling right now. But there is a slightest chance for me to, if I stay just the way I am now. I don't know, maybe life is too complicated. And my complicated mind's reaction to it just makes it even more complicated.

So, the problem with myself is that I need time to heat up. And my dear world of mine doesn't seem to be able to provide me of what I need. If I ask you "Is it wrong if I can't just go crazy easily in front of people I barely knew?", what would you answer? What should I expect to hear? I mean, thinking about this particular problem makes me miss the states very much. I miss living in a land where people respect others for being just the way they truly are. With not so much comparing, not so much complaining.. Here and now, I feel like I am being judged prematurely.

What is so wrong about enjoying my solitude?
What is so wrong about thinking differently?
What is so wrong about being different at all?

I still have more to show you if you just, wait.

I'm such a late-bloomer, but I'll bloom anyway, in the end.

1 comment:

Fri said...

well, people are...

people see, people think, people do.
the three steps of how most of indonesian people goes of with life...